(Note: In all of my posts I use "he" for abuser and "she" for victim for simplicity and because, in the majority of cases, the abuser is male. But it can be the opposite with a female abuser. Dynamics of abuse can also happen in same sex relationships.)
Domestic Abuse Misconception #1: Abuse is the result of anger. The truth is abuse is about power and control. Abusers can be very calm, cool, and collected and still calculate to maintain control over their victim. That power and control can take many forms. Here is the power and control wheel. Take a look.