Domestic Abuse Misconception #13: It is important for someone to take charge and tell the victim what to do. Actually, the opposite is true. A victim needs to be empowered to make the wisest decisions about her own life.
Remember what abuse is. It is the use of power and manipulation to gain and maintain control over the life of another person. This means that the victim of abuse has, for perhaps years, had no voice and no choice in her life. She has been beaten down, told she didn't matter, demeaned, and devalued. She has perhaps lived in constant fear. She has been a prisoner in her own home and even in her own body.
This is why it is so very important to allow her to make her own choices and gradually get back the power to run her own life. This is why so many domestic abuse organizations strongly encourage the empowerment model.
You can read more about empowerment here.
(Note: In all of my posts I use "he" for abuser and "she" for victim for simplicity and because, in the majority of cases, the abuser is male. But it can be the opposite with a female abuser. Dynamics of abuse can also happen in same sex relationships.)