Friday, January 6, 2012

I Never Thought We Were Hoarders.....

Our garage, to put it in real estate language is "no longer performing the function for which intended". If, indeed, the intention of a garage is to house an automobile. It currently functions as a woodworking shop, auto repair shop, home improvement store, office products warehouse, used furniture store, home gym, storage facility, and county landfill.

A quick inventory of the contents revealed:

  • 2 dressers
  • 1 chair
  • 1 Ikea tv/microwave cart
  • 1 car hood
  • 1 bunk bed frame
  • lots of wooden slats
  • empty bins
  • 60 1-gallon buckets of paint
  • 4 2-gallon buckets of paint
  • basket of rags
  • table saw
  • step ladder
  • weight bench
  • some sort of weight lifting gym thingy
  • prehistoric treadmill
  • dehumidifier
  • puppy food
  • kitty litter
  • 2 huge stereo speakers
  • 2 small stereo speakers
  • file cabinet with all but top drawer inaccessible due to aforementioned bed frame
  • American Girl horse
  • bin of American Girl dolls, some without limbs
  • wooden doll cradle painted a variety of colors
  • bin of wooden toys for grandchildren we may never have
  • 5 fans
  • 3 window flower boxes
  • window blinds that don't fit any of our windows
  • about 347 paint can openers
  • nasty paint rollers
  • roller pans
  • stack of nifty old license plates that never manage to get hung up
  • basket of old bike helmets
  • basket of baseball gloves/frisbees/deflated balls
  • stack of burned cd's
  • bird houses that have never been hung up
  • contraption for ACA Homecoming fair
  • bin of horse feed
  • bin of ceramic supplies, including bucket of special water (soda ash solution)
  • sheetrock mud, lots
  • various vacuum cleaner hose nozzles
  • 12 gallon Rigid wet/dry vac
  • 7+ suitcases of various dimensions (some nested in others...thus uncountable)
  • 3 bicycles, one missing front wheel
  • 2 coolers
  • piles of screws/nails
  • hairbrushes
  • bin of school supplies/loose leaf notebooks that nobody ever bothers so use because they always want new
  • granola bars of unknown age
  • container of ping pong balls
  • funky cabinet
  • stacks of plastic drawer storage things
  • notebook binding machine
  • bins of memorabilia for each family member
  • Matt's old portfolio
  • box upon box and bin upon bin of old business paperwork
  • bin of Christmas decorations
  • Christmas tree stand
  • stack of old floor tiles from former house
  • empty electronics boxes
  • 3 televisions of unknown function
  • 4 canvas folding chairs
  • 1 beach chair
  • badmitton net
  • large, partially deflated exercise ball
  • woodworking magazines
  • folded dog crate
  • old 60 count CD jukebox (non-functioning)
  • car jack
  • oil change bin
  • auto dolly
  • leaves
  • bike racks for car
  • mystery key
  • bin of camping supplies
  • router
  • sander
  • circular saw
  • 2 drills
  • tubes of caulk
  • uncountable small cans of paint/stain/putty
  • uncountable cans of spray paint
  • bottles of motor oil
  • bag of pink sheets with my grandmother's initials
  • lumbar support cushion

That's not all. I just got tired and cold and unable to identify much of the rest. That's a lot of STUFF. We sound like hoarders. But, aside from a bin or two and the contents of the file cabinet (real estate) NONE of it is my MY stuff. What's a girl to do? And don't even ask me about the shed...


  1. Reminds me of this:

  2. Hahahaha...It would take a year to name the stuff in our garage!