Before I continue with my story, I need to go ahead and give a more in depth description of what I encountered next. I call it The Ezzo Reign of Terror.
I didn't embark on parenthood with a lot of philosophies or systems under my belt. I didn't want them. All it really took me was a few nights, post c-section, of sitting up trying to nurse a newborn before I realized that it was the pits. So I pulled my baby in the bed next to me. She wanted to nurse. I wanted to sleep. It was a win-win for everybody. I didn't go around pushing co-sleeping and the family bed as a philosophy. It was just what worked for us. I thought that was what parenting was about.
I have never been a rigid parent by any means. It has never been my style. It isn't in my genetic code. Kid after kid blasted on to the scene and we just sort of muddled through. Parenthood was hard and I often felt I was in over my head but, by and large, I figured that's what parenthood was about.
Early in parenthood I read an article in a parenting magazine (a Christian parenting magazine, no less) where older, empty nest parents were asked what they would change about parenting if they were to do it all over again. The answers were things like "I'd say 'yes' more often" and "I would pick my fights" and "I wouldn't major on the minors." These all seems like sensible things to me. Don't sweat the small stuff. Leave room for growth and personal decision making. Don't get caught up in hyper-control. Sounded wise and reasonable enough to me.
Well, a few weeks after the birth of my third child, the entire family went to watch my husband play a softball game with our church's team. The game went long and my then 2.5 year-old, highly emotional toddler started to melt down. She wanted to go to the car and I wanted her to just sit in my lap on the ground until the game was over. She fussed a bit but I didn't give in to her whining. I was actually quite pleased with myself for being so calm so recently post-partum and standing my ground while being gentle with my daughter. James Dobson would have been proud. Then it happened. Another mom spoke.
"Ginny, have you heard about that new parenting class they are teaching at church? I think you should take it. You would find it really helpful."
I. Was. Crushed. The Ezzo Reign of Terror had begun.
For those of you fortunate enough to be totally oblivious to what I am talking about, let me illuminate you. Gary Ezzo was a dude out in California at John MacArthur's church who was a self-proclaimed parenting expert with no training whatsoever in medicine or psychology or child development but had, according to my husband, a PhD in self-righteousness. To be fair, his wife was, or had been, a nurse, striking horror in the hearts of responsible, reasonable RNs across the country.
Ezzo took it upon himself to write up an entire parenting curriculum for churches and named it the most presumptuous of names possible: "Growing Kids God's Way." Because Gary Ezzo apparently had his own hotline to the Almighty, I suppose. It sounds arrogant. It sounds crazy. But people ate. it. up.
Some of his advice was decent. Some of it was insane. But what was so very hideous about it all was the assumption that his way was the right way because it was God's way and he twisted and perverted scripture to back it up.
Back in the very early days of the internet my husband would go online at work and look up info on him. He came across a comment thread hundreds of comments long about high chair etiquette. I exploded. How dare this man shrink the Kingdom of God down to high chair etiquette!
It gained a foothold in our church. People raved about the classes. Others glanced disapprovingly at me nursing my baby when he fussed and they gushed about their sleep training schedules. Formerly free spirited toddlers were corralled and trained and stepped to the orders.
It took over entire churches. I had a friend at another church who was told that they didn't know if they wanted her baby in the nursery if she was not going to put him on the Ezzo schedule.
The overall effect that the Ezzo reign had was what you find in any sort of legalism. Those who could get with the program and do it right and found that it worked for their child grew arrogant and self-righteous and those who tried and failed crumbled in despair.
Being who I am, even with my very strong opinions and knowing in my head that this man's proclamations were bullshit, self-doubt took over. I was swimming upstream against an entire culture of "do this" and "don't do that" and chiding and chastising and I just didn't cope very well with that. Ezzo had reduced the most basic of loving, nurturing relationships into a factory assembly line of Robot Babies. I hated the very arrogant presumptions of this man and his formula but felt powerless and worthless as a parent because, in the eyes of so many others, I was doing it wrong.
Thankfully, over times, Gary Ezzo and his kingdom met resistance. His infant baby training programs were called out by the American Academy of Pediatrics, among other organizations, for producing failure to thrive in a number of babies. His twisting of scripture was called out by theologians and Christian medical professionals across the country. He was excommunicated by a successive churches. His daughters, who he had supposedly grown God's way, broke off relationship with him.
Yet I still see his books out there. I know many who prefer to use his sleep training methods. He still has some influence. I will never tell people not to use his methods. Some may need the structure. What I will say is that it isn't for everyone and that, no matter what he says, there are no guarantees. Your baby is not a lab rat or Pavlov's dog. Your baby is a beautiful person, created in the image of God. There are no formulas. There are a million different ways to raise children and still be within the framework of a loving, God-honoring family. Gary Ezzo's way is not the magic bullet for the Perfect Christian Child. And do not ever, ever tell me that this way or that way is God's way.
But even though Gary Ezzo doesn't have a corner on the parenting market any more, the damage was done. The idea that there was a right way to raise kids was out there. It still is.
Some how I totally missed this guy while I raising my kids... very thankful for that!
ReplyDeleteThank God you did!
DeleteIt's a cult. I wish I never participated in the toddler class twenty eight years ago.They give out leather straps to swat your child. I was at Goodwill and saw the book Childwise by the Ezzo's I bought it and went outside the door and threw it in the trash so no one else would buy it. Since then I learned about Life Model Works and Joy Starts Here by Dr. Jim Wilder which helps parents develop a loving attachment with their child. I highly recommend Joy Starts Here. I wish I had that information 28 years ago.
I agree with you 💯
DeleteI’m so heartbroken I participated in the Ezzo toddler class 29 years ago. They gave out leather straps to spank your child constantly. Baby wise is brainwashing and a cult.
Within the last 10 years I have listened to Dr Jim Wilder who is a true follower of Jesus. I wish I knew about him 30 years ago.
I can only say that in my opinion, you're just as self-righteous in being so judgemental of Gary Ezzo as he is with his views. Other than the fact that you aren't affecting as many with your writing, God sees it the same. There is always a positive with every negative and you could try presenting your opinions as such. Every church, every pastor, every teacher, every writer, every book (excluding God's infallible Word) has good and bad. Because we live in a fallen world nothing is perfect. You take the good with the bad and you pray. A LOT. Pray for wisdom and discernment. And pray that your speech be without reproach.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that, When our precious blogger used profanity she lost my interest Eph 4:29
DeleteHate to say it, but she called out abuse. If you happen to love the abuser she called out, that’s fine — he could use your prayers and (healthy) support. But calling out abuse MUST happen lest it harm more than it already has.
DeleteI'm praying right now for the best words to respond in love after reading the last comment. Having briefly gone through the "Ezzo" class at our church many years ago (and quitting simply because it made my stomach hurt) I can tell you that your words were right on target. If we, as women, as Christians, as Moms and wives, don't begin to stand up and speak loudly, we will lose the battle. God has given us an intuitive sense of His love and yet we are frequently trampled down by satan's attempt to silence us. Our families are more under attack from the righteous rules set by mankind than by any physical attack. The biggest struggle in parenting is losing our confidence to do what God has equipped us to do. We are so wrapped up in someone else's structure or rules that we lose our way. Keep speaking out Ginny. You've got my support and my love.
ReplyDeleteWhile Mr. Ezzo was not perfect, a lot of his teaching was valuable and you can use your intellect to discern what to use. He emphasized respect, good character and morals, and raising children within a strong marriage relationship. We can certainly use more if that.
ReplyDeleteHe emphasizes dictatorial responses and a firm hand on children. Get a copy of his first books that had to be rewritten several times because of his teaching parents abusive tactics to use towards their children. Even though a Jehovahs Witness bible is only 10% inaccurate, I would never give it out to anyone. Same goes for all things Gary Ezzo.
DeleteWell said.
DeleteI have to wonder about " parenting experts" who's own children shun them totally,going ' no - contact.'. Looking into the reasons for that, it's not self-righteous to be wary of the Ezzos.
DeleteI agree totally
DeleteGary Ezzo is a spawn of the devil himself and probably molested all the children in his path.
ReplyDeleteI’m 35 and when I was about 8 or so my parents went through the growing kids gods way VHS with a church group for several weeks. My parents are adults-first always even with how they are grandparents with my 3 kids. I remember feeling like luggage as a kid. As a parent of 3 our sleep training and feeding experience was different for each child and I have my doubts about the universality of babywise especially what I know now about Ezzo. As far as parenting goes I feel like it’s important to encourage your children meaning to instill courage for the difficulties of life. Part of that is allowing a little push back within reason and allowing your little ones to have a voice. You can still enforce rules as a parent but you don’t have to shut your kids down in the process. If you want your kids to be little stepford kids that impress your friends with how well behaved they are then growing kids gods way is for you but if you want resilient kids with trust and openness with their parents I would avoid it. I remember my parents friends oohing and ahhhing over how polite, quiet and behaved I was but inside I was anxious and couldn’t relax as a kid often. Let kids be kids and try to understand them. Enforce your rules and explain why as much as possible. There is a way to parent and have authority without treating your kids like second class. I never had a chance to rebel or raise my voice ever for fear of being a bad kid. I rebelled in college and it took years to build courage to stand up for myself not just with my parents but I didn’t get any practice with confrontation, fighting or sharing my true feelings at home so I had to learn that from friends and life experiences later. My sheepish demeanor I learned at home carried into the real world. The overbearing and belittling parenting style felt like it stunted a lot of my development into adulthood. Yes I was a very good kid that made my parents life easy and it “worked” but at what cost? Yes we let our 5 year old talk back but we listen and explain why we are doing things our way and sometimes we compromise or sometimes we don’t but at least he knows he’s not voiceless. We’re trying to raise good adults and compliant weak sheep do not make good adults.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience. You have made some incredibly good points. There is so much more to parenting than raising good Christian robots.
DeleteI agree
DeleteYes, I echo so much of what you said about being raised Under what was then called “Growing Kids God’s Way.” My parents were trying to do their best, but the authoritative control aspects did not help me develop any sort of good relationship with my parents in my teens. I felt I had no voice. I left for college and didn’t call for two months.
DeleteIt took me lots of big mistakes in life on my own to grow up and then finally be ready to come back and have a more friendly relationship with my parents. I still have trouble speaking up for myself and facing confrontation. As a parent of three now, I wish we could put good parenting into a formula, but each kid is different, and we need to be sensitive to our kids’ needs as parents.
My oldest child never ever slept in our bed. Our younger two were more needy physically and did. I now feel closer in some ways to the younger two because of all those cuddles in bed. It’s not always a bad thing. Some kids need that to feel safe and loved.
ทำเงินได้เป็นแสน ได้ที่นี่ที่เดียว คลิก -> สูตร slotxo
ReplyDeleteวิธีการเล่นสล็อตออนไลน์ที่ง่าย ได้ที่นี่ที่เดียว คลิก -> วิธีเล่น slotxo
ท่านสามารถเชิญเพื่อนมาเล่นได้ที่ คลิก -> slotxo ฝาก 200 ได้ฟรี 3%
I was an Ezzo kid. I am now 29 and I have a lot to say about how the Ezzo program has impacted me mentally, emotionally, and developmentally. Any other Ezzo kids out there?
ReplyDeleteI am.
DeleteJust got a fight with my parents cause they do not want to explain why they slaped me in the name of God, encouraged by Ezzo's techniques. I feel I'm starting my recovery now at the age of 36. I am the oldest of 5. I know the two brother after me have tasted this kind of correction ans I do not remember for the others. My brother next to me do not talk to my parents since 15 years now because our parents can't apologize, ans we feel so hurted
Thank you for naming it. Those who excuse Ezzo's technique might be using it. This dude has been a tool of destruction in the devil's hands in attempt to destroy many child's spirit.
ReplyDeleteI'm rising up from the dead and I'm coming back to destroy him.
My heart goes out to you as a Mom. Look into Joy Starts Here, Life Model Works by Dr. Jim Wilder, Chris Coursey it's very healing.
Deleteno deposit bonus forex 2021 - takipçi satın al - takipçi satın al - takipçi satın al - tiktok takipçi satın al - instagram beğeni satın al - instagram beğeni satın al - google haritalara yer ekleme - btcturk güvenilir mi - izlenme-satin-al.com - numarasmsonay.com - borsagazete.com - takipcisatinals.com - izlenme-satin-al.com/youtube - google haritalara yer ekleme - altyapısız internet - mikrofiber havlu - forexbonus2020.com - tiktok jeton hilesi - tiktok beğeni satın al - microsoft word ücretsiz indir - misli apk indir - binance güvenilir mi - takipçi satın al - mikrofiber havlu - uc satın al - takipçi satın al - takipçi satın al - finanspedia.com
ReplyDeletetakipçi satın al
ReplyDeletetakipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
instagram takipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
ReplyDeletetakipçi satın al
takipçi satın al
marsbahis
ReplyDeletebetboo
sultanbet
marsbahis
betboo
sultanbet
Hello
ReplyDeletePlease i just took up LABRADOR PUPPIES breeding as a hobby after my mom passed away because they were her favorite PUPPIES. Despite the fact that they are very intelligent, am finding it very difficult getting them to mate.
For any information CLICK HERE http://championlabradorhomes.company.com/. THANKS
apkarchiv.com | apk | apk download
ReplyDeleteUcuz, kaliteli ve organik sosyal medya hizmetleri satın almak için Ravje Medyayı tercih edebilir ve sosyal medya hesaplarını hızla büyütebilirsin. Ravje Medya ile sosyal medya hesaplarını organik ve gerçek kişiler ile geliştirebilir, kişisel ya da ticari hesapların için Ravje Medyayı tercih edebilirsin. Ravje Medya internet sitesine giriş yapmak için hemen tıkla: www.ravje.com
ReplyDeleteİnstagram takipçi satın almak için Ravje Medya hizmetlerini tercih edebilir, güvenilir ve gerçek takipçilere Ravje Medya ile ulaşabilirsin. İnstagram takipçi satın almak artık Ravje Medya ile oldukça güvenilir. Hemen instagram takipçi satın almak için Ravje Medyanın ilgili sayfasını ziyaret et: instagram takipçi satın al
Tiktok takipçi satın al istiyorsan tercihini Ravje Medya yap! Ravje Medya uzman kadrosu ve profesyonel ekibi ile sizlere Tiktok takipçi satın alma hizmetide sunmaktadır. Tiktok takipçi satın almak için hemen tıkla: tiktok takipçi satın al
İnstagram beğeni satın almak için Ravje medya instagram beğeni satın al sayfasına giriş yap, hızlı ve kaliteli instagram beğeni satın al: instagram beğeni satın al
Youtube izlenme satın al sayfası ile hemen youtube izlenme satın al! Ravje medya kalitesi ile hemen youtube izlenme satın almak için tıklayın: youtube izlenme satın al
Twitter takipçi satın almak istiyorsan Ravje medya twitter takipçi satın al sayfasına tıkla, Ravje medya güvencesi ile organik twitter takipçi satın al: twitter takipçi satın al
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further
ReplyDeletewrite ups thanks once again
pomeranian puppies for sales
This information is invaluable. Where can I find out more?
pomeranian for sale
This is the right webpage for anyone who hopes to understand this topic.
You realize a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want to…HaHa).
You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic that’s been discussed for a long
time. Great stuff, just excellent!
teacup pomeranian for sale near me
It’s amazing to pay a quick visit this website and
reading the views of all colleagues concerning this article,
while I am also zealous of getting familiarity.
pomeranians for sale near me
Hi, I do believe this is a great website. I stumbledupon it ;) I am going to revisit yet
again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to
change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
teacup havanese puppies for sale
Hey! are using WordPress for your blog platform?
ReplyDeleteI’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any html coding
expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!
doodle puppies
Thank you for the good writeup. It in reality was a enjoyment account it.
Look complicated to far introduced agreeable from you!
By the way, how could we communicate?
aussiedoodle puppies for sale
Good post. I certainly love this website.
Continue the good work!
bernedoodle puppies for sale
Hey! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone
3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog
and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the outstanding work!
goldendoodle puppies for sale
Hi, I do believe this is a great website. I stumbledupon it ;) I am going to revisit yet
again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to
change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
havanese puppies for sale near me
Generally I don’t learn post on blogs, but I would like
ReplyDeleteto say that this write-up very pressured me to try and do so!
Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thanks, quite
great article.
ragdoll kitten for sale
whoah this blog is excellent i love studying your articles.
Keep up the good work! You recognize, lots of individuals are looking around for thisinfo, you could help them greatly.
ragdoll kittens for sale
Good post. I certainly love this website.
Continue the good work!
mini goldendoodle for sale
Hey! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone
3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog
and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the outstanding work!
mini bernedoodle puppies for sale
I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any html coding
expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!
mini aussiedoodles for sale
At this time I am going away to do my breakfast, afterward having my breakfast coming over again to read further news
ReplyDeleteragdoll cat for sale
Usually I don’t read post on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do it!
Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, very nice article.
ragdoll cats for sale
Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may come back once again since I saved as a favorite it.
Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue
to guide others.
aussiedoodle for sale
Wonderful article! That is the kind of info that are supposed to be shared around the net.
Shame on the seek engines for now not positioning this publish upper!
Come on over and discuss with my website . Thank
you =)
bernedoodles for sale
Hi, I do believe this is a great website. I stumbledupon it ;) I am going to revisit yet
again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to
change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
havanese puppies for sale under $1,000
I love what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve you guys to my own blogroll.
ReplyDeleteragdoll kittens for sale near me
Hi, of course this piece of writing is actually fastidious and I have learned lot
of things from it concerning blogging. thanks.
ragdoll kitten near me
What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively useful and it has aided me out loads.
I hope to give a contribution & help different users like its aided me.
Good job.
goldendoodle for sale
Ahaa, its nice dialogue about this piece of writing at this place at this webpage,
I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting here.
teacup havanese puppies for sale
I take pleasure in, result in I discovered exactly what I used to be taking a look
for. You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice
day. Bye
pomeranian teacup for sale
https://thegorgeousdoodles.com/
ReplyDeletehttps://www.fluffyhavanese.com/
https://www.pomeranianpuppiesforsales.com/
https://thegorgeousragdolls.com/
you will need support or suggestions, write me privately.
ReplyDeleteI interested in your implementation/use case.
the best kera4d
Togel2win
It is really a very informative and interesting article. I want to say more thankyou about this beautiful blog. It is the best time to apply for a Turkey visa online . All Museums, Attractions, Restaurants, Nightclubs, Bards are Open. And this time the temperature of Turkey is also very favorable to visit.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI simply stumbled upon your weblog and desired to say that I have really enjoyed surfing your blog articles.
Positive site, where did u come up with the info on this uploading?
yorkie puppies for sale
teacup yorkie puppies for sale
yorkies for sale
yorkie for sale
yorkshire terrier for sale
yorkie puppy for sale
teacup yorkies for sale
teacup yorkie for sale
yorkie teacup for sale
This Blog Is really informative for us. Thanks For sharing this blog.
ReplyDeleteHii this is my first time visiting this web page this blog is really informative for me.
teacup chihuahua for sale
chihuahua puppies for sale
teacup chihuahua puppies for sale
chihuahua for sale
teacup chihuahuas for sale
tea cup chihuahua for sale
chihuahua for sale near me
applehead chihuahua for sale
apple head chihuahua for sale
https://www.yorkiespuppiessale.com/
ReplyDeleteHeya i'm for the first time here. I came across this board and I find
It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back
and help others like you aided me.
yorkies for sale near me
yorkie for sale near me
yorkie puppies near me
yorkies near me
yorkshire terrier for sale
yorkie puppy for sale near me
yorkie puppies for sale near me
teacup puppies for sale near me
teacup yorkie for sale
https://www.chihuahuapuppiesforsale1.com/
ReplyDeleteThanks very much for sharing an amazing content with us. we really do appreciate.
teacup yorkies for sale
teacup yorkies for sale near me
yorkie teacup for sale
yorkie puppies for sale
yorkie puppy for sale
teacup yorkie for sale
yorkie for sale near me
teacup yorkie near me
teacup yorkie for sale near me
Nice Post..Thanks for sharing this useful information! This is really interesting information to read.
https://www.newdaypuppies.com/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/
ReplyDeletehttps://www.yorkiespuppiessale.com/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/teacup-maltese-puppies-for-sale/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/teacup-maltipoo-puppies-for-sale/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/teacup-pomeranian-puppies-for-sale/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/teacup-poodle-puppies-for-sale/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/teacup-shih-tzu-puppies-for-sale/
https://www.myppuphouse.com/teacup-yorkie-for-sale/
https://www.newdaypuppies.com/
instagram beğeni satın al
ReplyDeleteyurtdışı kargo
seo fiyatları
saç ekimi
dedektör
fantazi iç giyim
sosyal medya yönetimi
farmasi üyelik
mobil ödeme bozdurma
bitcoin nasıl alınır
ReplyDeletetiktok jeton hilesi
youtube abone satın al
gate io güvenilir mi
referans kimliği nedir
tiktok takipçi satın al
bitcoin nasıl alınır
mobil ödeme bozdurma
mobil ödeme bozdurma
mmorpg
ReplyDeleteınstagram takipci satin al
tiktok jeton hilesi
Tiktok jeton hilesi
Sac ekimi antalya
INSTAGRAM TAKİPÇİ SATIN AL
İnstagram Takipçi Satın Al
metin2 pvp serverlar
Instagram takipçi satin al
smm panel
ReplyDeleteSMM PANEL
İs ilanlari blog
instagram takipçi satın al
hirdavatciburada.com
beyazesyateknikservisi.com.tr
SERVİS
tiktok jeton hilesi
เกม Joker123club เกม slot น่าโดน เบื่อกับอะไรเดิมๆ ทางเราจัดให้เกมslot pg-slot.game เกมslotที่พิเศษกว่า ใครๆ มาร่วมสนุกกัน
ReplyDeleteGood content. You write beautiful things.
ReplyDeletetaksi
korsan taksi
hacklink
sportsbet
mrbahis
hacklink
sportsbet
vbet
vbet
Success Write content success. Thanks.
ReplyDeletekralbet
betmatik
betpark
canlı poker siteleri
betturkey
deneme bonusu
kıbrıs bahis siteleri