A while back I needed to write a letter to a group of men detailing my concerns about a serious matter. My husband read it and then suggested removing the emotion. "Only the facts," he said. "They won’t be able to hear you for the emotion," he said. "They won’t take you seriously." Sigh.
A few years ago I was part of a group pulling together questions for a congregational survey. Many of my questions were “Do you feel…” They were changed. Changed to “Do you think…” There was clearly a discomfort with feeling. It was not of significance. Not to be trusted. Feelings were not valid. They didn't matter.
"Scripture says women are not to teach, and it is because women can be a lot more gullible and a lot more prone to being swayed by feelings of others or swayed by feelings of themselves."
The problem isn’t emotions. The problem is not recognizing emotions at play.
Fifteen years ago I had a real estate client who was eager to move his family to Asheville from a different state. This man was a highly successful in his line of work and even boasted of the celebrities in his neighborhood. He let me know how much his house was worth (over $2 million) but that his expectation was to get a house for about a third of that value in Asheville (isn’t this always the case?).
After looking at so many houses (my record of 24 in one day), he was exasperated and understandably so. The housing stock and topography around here make for so many more variables when house hunting.
Him: “How does anybody ever make a decision?”
Me: “Well, sometimes you just fall in love with a house.”
Him: “You are clearly not used to working with as savvy of a buyer as I am. I NEVER allow emotions to get in the way of my business decisions.”
Well, he didn’t fall in love with a house. But his wife did. I mean REALLY did.